


Sense Memory

by Baronessbamf



Category: Free!
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Infidelity, M/M, Near Future, Olympics, Sad Makoto, Sousuke really gets around, easily avoided angst, the course of true love never did run smooth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2120019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baronessbamf/pseuds/Baronessbamf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke causes problems with his dick, Then Haru sort of fixes those problems with his. a lot less funny than the summary makes it sound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sense Memory

**Author's Note:**

> As always feedback is appreciated.
> 
> First time writing Sousuke (Who I'm pretty sure is a serial killer but that isn't what this fic is about) and Haru so YMMV on characterization.

Sousuke remembers wrapping his arms completely around Rin. That's the thing he remembers the most about sex with Rin. The shape of him and how they fit together, the feel of pointy teeth never _quite_ touching his skin. Sometimes he recalls gentleness, sometimes roughness. Always the smell of chlorine but, that smell is something all his sexual partners tend to have in common. Rin also smells freshly of shaving cream in this particular memory, and there is the smoothness of his skin to go along with the smell too.

He remembers Rin saying things too, “I thought you liked being on top, Sousuke?” to which Sousuke had replied;

“This isn't bunk beds”

He remembers Rin's soft grunts and pants, and the “Are you sure you're okay?” because, according to Rin, Sousuke is disturbingly quiet. But, Sousuke is more than okay. Everything feels great. Every little movement makes little tingles shoot through all his bones and make his eyes squeeze shut and his breath heavy.

Sousuke is pretty sure that's nostalgia goggles though, maybe he's mixing up his first time and a time after that. Though nothing had ever hurt. Rin had never hurt him. Not ever.

Sousuke had done all the hurting. That is the thing he remembers the most about his time with Rin.

 

 

The sudden switch is the thing he remembers about Makoto. Sousuke still wonders whether he'd went to Makoto for innocent sympathy or to make Rin jealous.

Rin and his relationship (Which was currently a long-distance one) had been on the rocks. Partly because Sousuke had seen the break-down of Haruka and Makoto's (Also long-distance) relationship. If the tightest couple in the world couldn't make it, what chance did what he and Rin have? Also, he was jealous and distrustful of Haru being in the same place as Rin.

Had he really hoped Makoto would have given him advice? He remembers soft words of “Everyone's relationship is different, I'm sure you'll be fine.” a gentle smile and eyes so green he actually _smelt_ grass.

He remembers his lie “Actually, we aren't, we broke up.” and he remembers the soft feel of their mouths together and Makoto's loving hands holding his face and pulling him in closer.

“A-are you sure?” Makoto looked into his eyes with a look that changed interpretation through the years, a few days later, Sousuke thinks Makoto was trying to detect a lie, but at the time it felt like Makoto wanted him so badly. A few years later, Sousuke realises it was both. A mix of hesitation and enthusiasm.

The sure and certain “Yes” Sousuke gave washed away any reservations Makoto had and the change from his normal gentle self to homme fatale was instant and pleasantly surprisingly.

He remembers certain awkward moments when Makoto realises Sousuke is too big to hold against up the wall, he remembers how Makoto found places to bite, lick, and caress that made Sousuke shudder and gasp. He remembers how Makoto's back muscles shifted and moved under his hands as they fucked.

The sex faded into cuddling and Sousuke remembers feeling secure and safe and he hasn't felt that in months with anyone as he holds onto Makoto as they sleep.

But then Sousuke can't enjoy any more of the memories of their brief relationship because it ends with Makoto's tears and Rin's scorn.

 

 

Training for the Olympics are simultaneously some of the best memories he has and some of his worst. The horror of seeing Haruka Nanase. The teeth-grinding anger of seeing his time training with Rin abroad made him even better. The shame of still feeling jealous. The awkwardness of any time alone they share. The guilt when Haru finally speaks and the first thing he says makes him feel like King Jerk of Douchebaggery.

“It took Makoto a lot to trust after that.”

“...I'm sorry.”

“You took the most important person in the world to me and hurt him in the worst way.”

“...I was jealous.” Haru just glares at him, and it actually makes Sousuke's tummy rumble in self-loathing. “And insecure.”

“You had nothing to be jealous about.” Haru leaves it there, as if that explains everything.

“...You and Rin...would have made a good couple. That is what I thought back then.”

“No, we wouldn't of.” Haru seems to be closing down, Sousuke wonders if Haru has a word limit and he's reached it.

“Are you and Mako-” Sousuke gets interrupted by Haru shaking his head. “Do you want to get back together with him?” Haru gets up and leaves the conversation. Sousuke feels like shit for a week.

 

Sousuke stops feeling like shit when He, Haru, and the other members of the Olympic Swimming team have a party. Haru sits in the corner quietly and Sousuke feels bad so he sits next to him to talk.

“I'm not good at parties.” he explains

“Yeah-huh.”

“Normally...” A pause, “I just followed Makoto around.”

“...You can go home. No one is making you stay.”

Haru glares, “Is someone making me go?”

“No!” Sousuke frowns, “If you aren't comfortable at parties, you should go. You should be...free to do what you want.” Haru seemed to bristle at those words

“I want to swim.”

“But the pool is closed.”

“I want to swim.” Haru was looking at him, eyes wide.

“I am not sneaking out with you and breaking into the pool.”

“Sounds like you've already come up with a plan.”

Sousuke found himself unable to say no, so they made their excuses, left the party, and broke into the training centre. Haru was stripped down to his trunks and swimming around in under a minute.

Sousuke remembers seeing Haru at peace and contented. Horrifically, he realises later that he must have fallen a bit in love with him at that moment. But in the moment, he wants to feel the same, so he strips down to his boxer's and jumps in.

They swim together and this is the point Sousuke remembers them becoming friends.

 

And for awhile, everything is okay. But then Inada-san injured his shoulder blade during training, Sousuke felts bad for him, but doesn't think much of it, Japan will simply have to have one competitor in the 100m Men's Butterfly, him.

Then later, he hears talks of Rin joining and he has a panic attack.

He'd never had one before, he remembers feeling scared. He remembers feeling a lot of everything.

Haru visits him at his apartment later in the day, “Rei said I should get you chocolate.”

“It's over now.” Sousuke is embarrassed, but Haru pushes the chocolate closer to him.

“Do you still love him?”

“I don't know how I feel.” Sousuke looks at Haru, and sees something he does feel clear on, “I...need more than chocolate right now.”

Haru looks blankly, “You need cake?”

“No...I...” Sousuke touches Haru hand, and he understands.

They cuddle through the night, and Sousuke feels safe, they kiss. But nothing more, and it's what he needs.

Rin is shocked when he finds out about the intimate nature of Sousuke and Haru's friendship. But he takes it well. Sousuke is a bit disappointed that Rin doesn't get angry.

 

Time passes, laps are swum, records are beaten, friendships are repaired. Japan gets very hyped for the Olympics. Rin and Sousuke get Gold and Silver medals, Haru gets two gold medals and stammers out the national anthem, with a big blush on his cheeks while he looks at his cheering friends in the stands.

That night Haru and Sousuke share a bed and it goes beyond kissing. Sousuke remembers the lights from the Olympic village outside making Haru's eyes and face glow, how loud every tiny sound they made felt. How Haru's hips moved, how his eyes squeezed shut and how his gripped the sheets and sighed when he came. How they looked at each other afterwards, the little caresses they gave each other.

“I think I know how I feel about Rin now.” Sousuke whispers into the crook of Haru's shoulder and neck.

“Then go get him.” he can't see it, but he can hear Haru smiling. “Besides, when I saw Makoto in the stands...I...”

“Figured some stuff out?”

“Yeah.”

The thing he remembers the most about Haru is his patience for him. 

 

 

Sousuke is fixing Rin's tie and smoothing out his suit. “You know, deep down I think I knew we'd get married first.” He grins.

“Yeah?”

“Well we have to beat Haru at _something_.”

Sousuke knows he'll be remembering this day for a very long time.

 


End file.
